DON’T BE AFRAID

“[Adonai] said, ‘I am God, the God of your father. Don’t be afraid to go down to Egypt. It is there that I will make you into a great nation.’”
Genesis 46:3

Have you ever been in that place where you find yourself fearful of what is to come, but knowing that you will be better because of it? For me that was college. I grew up in Southern California and at the age of 18 found myself venturing east to Oklahoma. I had never been away from home without some other family and close friend, and here I was now with a feeling of fear. I knew the going to college was right for me, and I knew that this college was where I was supposed to go, yet still I was afraid of all that was unknown.
Ya’akov knew that same feeling. The wagons had come and were prepared to take him and all his family to Egypt. Yet, Ya’akov seemed to have a little fear. Yes Yosef was alive and residing in Egypt, but the promise from Adonai had always been that the line of Avraham would be given the land of Kena’an. Now he was being moved from the promise to a foreign place. Adonai, knowing Ya’akov’s fear, spoke to him in a dream and said, “Don’t be afraid to go down to Egypt. It is there that I will make you into a great nation.”
A new promise was now being given, not to override the promise given to Avraham, but to confirm the promise given to Avraham. It was in Genesis 15:13 that Adonai first shared what was now coming to pass. The line of Avraham would find themselves foreigners in a land not theirs, as slaves for four hundred years. Now Ya’akov was packing up and moving to a land not his. The first day of the four hundred years was beginning.
If Ya’akov had not allowed himself to go, then Adonai’s promise to Avraham would never have come true. And the same can be said of me. If I had not gone to the college I felt Him leading me to, then the promises He gave me concerning my education at this institution would not have come true. Too many times we allow fear to paralyze us. But in these moments we should remember the words of Adonai. Don’t be afraid to go.

Genesis 45:28 – 46:27

REVIVED IN SPIRIT

“…but it was only when he saw the wagons which Yosef had sent to carry [Ya’akov] that the spirit of Ya’akov their father began to revive.”
Genesis 45:27b

With the order to not delay, the brothers were on their way. But when they returned to Ya’akov with the news that their brother Yosef was still alive, Ya’akov had a hard time believing. He had put away the idea of Yosef being alive when the brothers had told him Yosef was dead, producing a torn up and bloodstained coat. Now the brothers were telling him that he was alive and was the second in command in Egypt. I am glad I wasn’t part of that conversation, where Ya’akov quite honestly may have been going off on his sons for their actions and lies. Yet still, the Torah records that Ya’akov did not believe his sons this time around. In fact, it wasn’t until the wagons that were sent were seen that Ya’akov was revived.
The word ‘revived’ here is the Hebrew word CHAYAH. Its definition is probably what you would expect – to live, have life, remain alive, sustain life, and to restore. In seeing the wagons sent from Egypt specifically to carry back all the possessions and people of Ya’akov’s camp, his spirit became to be restored. In seeing these things he began to believe this tall tale his sons were sharing with him. And in seeing these wagons, hope that Yosef was still alive began to grow.
It seems odd that wagons would have that much affect, but they did. Wrapped up in the sight of the wagons were hope, a new life, and an end to famine. Who is to say otherwise how the sons would have convinced their father of Yosef’s life? But then, who is know what same oddity brings revival to us? What is the wagon that we have seen, or will be convinced by? Our spirit too may be in need of revival. Our wagons also may be on their way. And when we see them, we like Ya’akov will be revived in spirit. Do not lose hope, the wagons are coming.

Genesis 45:19-27

DON’T DELAY

“’Hurry, go up to my father, and tell him, “Here is what your son Yosef says: ‘God has made me lord of all Egypt! Come down to me, don’t delay!’”’”
Genesis 45:9

Now the brothers knew it was Yosef. Now they were told that the actions they had once done to hurt Yosef were used by Adonai to keep the family, nation, and promise of Adonai alive. And now Yosef was hugging and weeping with his brothers, requesting they hurry home and bring their father, his father, back with them. They would live in Goshen according to Yosef, and they would be given the good part of Egypt according to Pharaoh. In every aspect, the doomed fate of both Yosef and Isra’el was being redeemed.
We would do well to remember this in regards to ourselves. If nothing else, the account of Yosef in the Torah fills in the missing pieces of how the Jewish nation found its way to Egypt from Moshe to deliver them. But it is so much more. It is here we also see that what is intended for bad can really be Adonai working undercover for our good. It can also be read as a story of forgiveness, or of provision. Still whatever lesson you read in this story, perhaps the piece that should not be ignored is in Genesis 45:9.
Yosef expressed to his brothers that five more years of famine were still to come. They had no time to delay in moving their father and all their possessions to Egypt. Their survival depended on it. So it is with us. There will be times when Adonai will tell us to move, and we must heed him. Our procrastination, or delay, or putting it off till tomorrow can easily put us out of sync with what Adonai is doing. Therefore, I encourage you, when you hear His voice of urgency speaking to you to move, do not delay. Your future may depend on it just as the nation of Isra’el’s did.

Genesis 45:8-18

DOUBLE PURPOSE

“’And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. ... But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.’”
Genesis 45:5, 7

I am not sure how closely you have had to deal with death before. For me it has been only the death of my grandparents that I can remember. This past January I was given the honor of speaking at a funeral for someone dear to me. As I prepared for this moment, I allowed Adonai to lead me in what I was to say. What was it that even in this somber time would bring glory to the Father and honor to the family of this man? With this prayer, I began to look at his favorite Bible story. That story for him was when Yosef revealed himself to his brothers in Genesis 45.
The events leading up to this moment consisted of Yosef being sold by his brothers into slavery, wrongly accused by his master’s wife and sent to prison, and then forgotten while in prison after interpreting a dream for one of Pharaoh’s officials. It wasn’t until Pharaoh himself needed an interpretation that Yosef began to see his turning around coming. As he shared with Pharaoh the meaning of his dream, Adonai then placed Yosef into a position of status, giving him a title of second in command. According to J. I. Packer in his book, Knowing God, Adonai had ordered the events of Yosef’s life for a double purpose.
Packer defines this double purpose as such. The first piece is the individual’s own personal sanctification. Sanctification is defined as the state of growing in divine grace. In the life of Yosef we find sanctification dripping in his every move. When his brothers sold him, he was sanctified. When falsely accused of making an intimate advance, he was sanctified. While waiting in prison, he was sanctified. In each of these moments Yosef grew in his relationship with his God. He knew there was a purpose for his sufferings. He never turned back on Adonai, and because of this He honored him and placed him in a position of authority.
The second piece to a double purpose that Packer describes is the fulfilling of his appointed ministry. Yosef was destined. We see this in his dreams. The dream of crops bowing down or even the moon and stars, was an indication of the ministry position the Father would place Yosef in. And now, years later, having suffered so much ill fate and not quitting on Adonai, Yosef was being honored. But the dreams were not fulfilled until the famine spread and brought his brothers back to his doorstep. It was here that the double purpose finally made sense. Adonai not only opened the way for Yosef to be honored, but also had opened the way for His people to be saved.
Consider your own life. Do you have a double purpose? Does it seem like life is pressing you and you wonder what good can come from these struggles and strains? Do you feel like there is no hope at the end of the rope? For this man whose funeral I partook in, I could see his double purpose. Adonai had ordered the steps of his life to give me an example of a father’s heart for his children and to steer me in the directions that I must take in my faith. But the continuation of this purpose came and continues to come for me as I now know a new faith in my Abba Father. Adonai sent him ahead of me so that I may gain from his example, but also that in this example my faith would be strengthened. With this example and with this deeper level of faith, I am now also able to say that what has been meant for evil in the taking of this man, my mentor, and my true earthly father, Adonai still has been able to use for His good in the character of which I am growing to become. Now the baton is my hand to show a double purpose for those that follow after me.

Genesis 44:31 – 45:7

PRIVATE CHATS

“Then Y’hudah approached Yosef and said, ‘Please, my lord! Let your servant say something to you privately; and don’t be angry with your servant, for you are like Pharaoh himself.’”
Genesis 44:18

In this portion of the Parashah, titled Vayigash (he approached), we read of Y’hudah approaching Yosef concerning Binyamin. The cup had been found in Binyamin’s sack and now he faced prison in Egypt. Even with the brother’s debate, Yosef would not budge. So then, Y’hudah asked to speak with Yosef privately and candidly. It was in this conversation that Y’hudah pleaded once more for Binyamin, expressing that they had done all that Yosef had requested in order for them to receive Shim’on back, and how the cup got in the sack was a mystery.
Unfortunately we do not read Yosef’s response in this portion today. What we do know from reading ahead, though, is Yosef finally sees in his brother’s response the forgiveness and regret he has been looking for since his younger years when they first sold him as a slave. This, however, will be where we pick up tomorrow.

Genesis 44:18-30

LAYING IT DOWN

“Then each hurried to put his pack down on the ground, and each one opened his pack. He searched, starting with the oldest and ending with the youngest; and the goblet was found in the pack belonging to Binyamin.”
Genesis 44:11-12

Yosef collected himself. It is assumed that Yosef had been taken from his family by way of the traveling slave trade when he was about seventeen and now, years later, he was seeing his actual brother for the first time since. Tears were coming and he had to get himself in check. So he went to his room and cried. I know that feeling. There are many times when I tear up thinking about seeing my family again, let alone seeing them at the airport or such. I have not been even in the same state as my family since leaving for college in 1993. So to see them even after a few months can be a tearful reunion. But upon seeing Binyamin especially, Yosef broke down in tears.
The meal was had and Binyamin was spoiled, even having a portion five times the size of his brothers. But Binyamin also was spoiled with additional coins and a silver cup. Both these things were a surprise to him, and one would bring about some trouble. Not knowing that he was in possession of stolen goods, Binyamin left with his brothers to head back home. Not far out, though, the traveling band was stopped by Yosef’s guards. When they checked the bags, they found the missing goblet in the bag of Binyamin. The brothers had already swore an oath to their father, so instead of allowing Binyamin to remain behind as a slave, they volunteered to take his place.
In reading this account I believe that one thing is evident. The brothers had grown up since their childish ways with Yosef. They knew the pain they had caused Ya’akov. They saw the distress their father had lived with for so long. And they allowed the fear they saw in his eyes to be their driving force. So with that, each brother willingly allowed themselves to be considered as Yosef’s slave as opposed to Binyamin. Finally they had learned, and finally they were willing to lay down their life for a brother.

Genesis 43:30 – 44:17

RETURN TRIP

“Upon being ushered inside Yosef’s house, the men became fearful. They said, ‘It’s because of the money that was returned in our packs the first time that we have been brought inside – so that he can use it as an excuse to attack us, take us as slaves and seize our donkeys too.’”
Genesis 43:18

With Binyamin in hand, the other nine brothers returned to Egypt to retrieve Shim’on, repay the returned coins found in their sacks from the last time, and purchase more grain. When they returned, however, they were escorted into Yosef’s house. I, like the brothers, probably would have also been a little fearful as to what was coming next. But Yosef had no intention of hurting them. Instead, they were to eat with him.
All their fears were put at ease. Where they had thought he would attack, he provided for them. Instead of taking them as slaves, he had their feet washed. And their fear of seized donkeys was replaced by fodder for the donkeys. Shim’on was even released to them. But when Yosef saw his brother, Binyamin, his true brother as opposed to half brother, he spoke a blessing over him in saying, “May God be good to you.”
Just as Ya’akov feared that his sons would not return, so also the sons feared Yosef’s response to seeing them again, especially with the returned coins. But instead they met a man who had kept his word by releasing their brother, but also who continued to show concern for them and their father.

Genesis 43:16-29

LENGTHY DELAYS

“I myself will guarantee his safety; you can hold me responsible. If I fail to bring him to you and present him to your face, let me bear the blame forever. Except for our lengthy delay, we would have been there again by now.”
Genesis 43:9-10

It was while reading this passage of the Torah today that I saw myself. More specifically, it was in comparing myself to Ya’akov that I saw myself. In this portion of the Parashah, the brothers are in Egypt seeking relief from the famine by purchasing grain. Yosef, who is hiding his true identity from them, has already questioned the brothers about his father and youngest brother, Binyamin. Calling the others out as spies, he has now given them the task of keeping one brother behind while they go to fetch Binyamin. This alone will prove their denial as spies, but will also allow Yosef a look into their hearts. With this said, Shim’on is taken, unwillingly, as the brother left behind.
When the remaining nine return to their father, they explain why Shim’on is not with them. Automatically Ya’akov is unwilling. There is no way that he will allow Binyamin to go, not with Yosef already gone and Shim’on in prison. But as the grain runs out, Ya’akov is placed between a rock and a hard spot. To obtain grain he must do as Egypt’s official has spoken. But the fear of losing another son weighs on the other end. Even at Re’uven’s barter to take his sons instead, Ya’akov is timid to agree (Gen 42:37-38).
Now depleted of grain, Ya’akov must make his decision. It is Y’hudah who pleads with his father again to place the boy in his care, allowing any and all blame to fall on him. And it is in this passage I see myself. Y’hudah says to his father that if he wasn’t so stubborn, they could have already gone to Egypt and back instead of knowing the pain of hunger. This piece makes me contemplate the times I too have been stubborn. I think there are times when we are supposed to take our stand, dig our feet in and resist the enemy. This is Biblical. But there are also times when we do this action for the wrong reason. Ya’akov did it out of fear. He knew that his family was hungry, but he also feared that Binyamin, the last piece he had still from Rachel, could find the same fate as Yosef or Shim’on.
Have you too found yourself there? It is like you know the answer, but are afraid to step out in the faith that Adonai has it in his control. Ya’akov finally did agree with Y’hudah, but he also left it in Adonai’s hands, saying, “May El Shaddai give you favor in the man’s sight, so that he will release to you your other brother as well as Binyamin” (Gen 43:14). Perhaps we should pray the same prayer. Oh El Shaddai, may you give us favor in the sight of others, regardless of how hard is it to walk out this next step, yet knowing your hand is at work in our obedience to where you are leading. Amen.

Genesis 42:19 – 43:15

THE LAND OF PROVISION

“Now Ya’akov saw that there was grain in Egypt; so Ya’akov said to his sons, ‘Why are you staring at each other? Look,’ he said, ‘I’ve heard that there’s grain in Egypt. Go down there and buy some for us from there, so that we can stay alive and not die!’”
Genesis 42:1

Not sure how you feel about this idea, but to not die is on the top of my list. Well let me rephrase that – to not die physically. Trust me, spiritually and daily I want to die to sin and find myself alive in Yeshua. But I understand where Ya’akov was coming from. With the famine spreading over all the earth, and severe in the land of Egypt (Gen 41:56), Ya’akov had to do something. Once he had heard that food was available in the land of Egypt, he knew he had his answer. Now he may not have known what all would have transpired, as we will see in the days to come, but Adonai’s hand was at work.
All the brothers, with the exception of Binyamin, traveled to Egypt to purchase grain as their father had requested. Remember, their life depended on it. In coming into Egypt they found their way to the official who was in charge of the dispersing. Little did they know that this official was their brother. Yosef did not let on to it as well and instead began questioning them. But as the dreams he had once had as a child began to replay in his mind, he called them out as spies and had all his brothers placed in custody.
In reading this, I want to point out two facts that I am reminded of in reading this portion. The first is in the words of Ya’akov. Sometimes the blessing is waiting for us in another place. The brothers had to go to Egypt. Domino’s Pizza wasn’t around back then to bring then what they needed. FedEx wasn’t delivering quite yet. So the brothers had to extend their faith in extending their feet. We too may have to follow the leading and go to the place of blessing as opposed to waiting for Adonai to bring the blessings to us. The second point I want to point out is that, as we know by reading ahead, Yosef was looking for a heart change in his brothers. He was wanting to see if they were sorry for what they had done against Yosef, as well as how they had brought pain to their father. Doesn’t that sound like us? Adonai looks at our heart when judging our forgiveness. Paul speaks of a worldly sorrow and godly sorrow. The world sorrow is basically being sorry you got caught. But godly sorrow brings about true and lasting change. Which then are we offering when we ask for forgiveness?

Genesis 41:53 – 42:18

SECOND IN COMMAND

“…you will be in charge of my household; all my people will be ruled by what you say. Only when I rule from my throne will I be greater than you.”
Genesis 41:40

The story of Yosef’s rise from prisoner to second in command was a favorite of my dad’s. I remember as a child, all us kids sitting around the table, and him reading us the account of Yosef’s promotion. In honor of him this past January, I gave a short message at his funeral from this, his favorite story. But why love it so much? Is it because good wins in the end? Is it because the underdog has his moment of breakthrough? Is it because we see that Adonai is truly in control? I think it is a little of all those things. It is a hope for us that we too are in His care, even when it may not feel that way.
So then, after Yosef was cleaned up, brought to Pharaoh, listened to and then interpreted the dreams, it was bestowed upon him the honor of being second in command. Only Pharaoh had more power and weight than Yosef. He was given a wife, Osnat the daughter of Poti-Fera of On, and from her would come M’nasheh and Efrayim, the final two in the named twelve tribes of Isra’el. But maybe more important than a wife and children was the assurance that all he had suffered was redeemed.
Our account of Yosef is not finished for we still have nine chapters to go. But in this portion today we already see that in the bleakest of situations God is in control. Being the one the brother detested, being the one sold as a slave, being the one lied about, being the one in prison, none of those places was fun. Yet, Adonai was with Yosef. And we too know these feelings. We know the sting of being detested. We know the feeling of be enslaved. We know the pain of a lie spoken about us. And we know the hopelessness our own prisons capture us in. Still, we must not give up. Our promotions are coming. Let us continue to trust in Adonia in these times, for He is in control.

Genesis 41:39-52

PHARAOH’S DREAMS

“Yosef said to Pharaoh, ‘The dreams of Pharaoh are the same: God has told Pharaoh what he is about to do.’”
Genesis 41:25

I am sure we have all had those dreams before where we aren’t sure whether we are being given a message or if we are just suffering from the affects of pizza. I know I have. It seems like some dreams are just so crazy that there is no way that they can be anything but bad food. Yet there do seem to be those dreams that just leave a feeling that they are not supposed to be ignored. Perhaps you know what I’m talking about. I have had dreams, even fairly recently, where I knew Adonai was speaking something to me. There was a peace, an urgency, and a knowing all at the same time. Right away in those times, I flip on my light, grab for my journal, and write down whatever I can remember. I may not know all the details, but I know it is urgent.
I feel that is what Pharaoh may have felt in this moment. He woke up from having not one, but two urgent dreams telling him the same meaning. The details were hidden from him, but Adonai was just placing things in motion. You see if Pharaoh or the magicians had been able to tell the meaning, Yosef would not have been needed. But Adonai kept the meaning hidden in order to promote Yosef. And that He did. Yosef, summoned by Pharaoh, made it clear that the interpretation to follow would be from Adonai. He also spoke to Pharaoh that the two dreams that had just been shared were the same. Adonai was telling Pharaoh that seven years of abundance were coming, but would be followed by seven years of famine. This paved the way for Yosef to find the promotion that Adonai had been saving for him. It was all in due time and under the right circumstances.
My advice to you is something I have learned myself. When Adonai speaks, we must listen. He may not always speak the same way, or in an obvious way, but once we see it is Him speaking, we must heed Him. He may chose to speak through dreams, through a burning bush, or through an audible voice, but regardless the means we need to obey the message. Pharaoh had it right, to seek out the interpretation. It would do us well to also seek out what Adonai is telling us, for as with the Egyptians, our life may depend on it too.

Genesis 41:17-38

SUMMONED BEFORE PHARAOH

“In the morning he found himself so upset that he summoned all the magicians of Egypt and all its wise men. Pharaoh told them his dream, but no one there could interpret them for him.”
Genesis 41:8

It happened that Pharaoh had lost sleep due to a dream that he could not understand. Pharaoh called the magicians and wise men of Egypt to help, but they too were unable to give this dream meaning. Reminded of his short time in prison, Pharaoh’s chief cupbearer also had had a dream which Yosef had interpreted. With this memory, the cupbearer spoke.
Yosef was summoned before Pharaoh and told to interpret the dream. Where were all the laughs and bitter resentments of his brothers now? Now he stood before the very one who ruled over Egypt. In a moment where he could have spoken in pride, Yosef spoke in humility. Giving all glory to Adonai, Yosef spoke to the royal audience of his inability and humanness. So again I point out, when Adonai’s timing and Adonai’s Word intersect, ‘suddenly’ happens. For Yosef, suddenly was happening now.

Genesis 41:1-16

DREAMS

“One night the two of them, the king of Egypt’s cupbearer and his baker, there in prison, both had dreams, each dream with its own meaning. Yosef came in to them in the morning and saw that they looked sad.”
Genesis 40:5-6

In a place where all hope should seem lost, Yosef was blessed by Adonai. The warden paid no attention to anything after placing Yosef in a role of responsibility within the prison, for under Yosef’s care even the prison was blessed (Gen 39:23). And with each dream that Yosef interpreted, respect and honor for Yosef and his God was given. Pete Wilson, in his book Plan B, shares this glimmer of truth with us.

“There is an undeniable relationship between crisis and hope. Between waiting hopefully and being transformed. Between Plan B and the glory of God...The hope and transformation and glory is part of the whole process”

For Yosef, one day the whole process began to make sense. The pieces were in place that two of the Pharaoh’s servants were in prison with Yosef. Dreams troubled them and they found themselves questioning the truth behind what surfaced in their sleep. In the ability given to him by Adonai alone, Yosef listened to the dreams and interpreted. To one, restoration would come. To the other, death would be his end. Within the three days foreseen, the interpretations were true. The cupbearer was restored to his post while the baker was found guilty of a crime and hung (Gen 40:19).
Through the dreams, Yosef seemed to have a way out of prison now. The cupbearer had told Yosef that he would remember him and approach the Pharaoh on Yosef’s behalf. But Yosef was forgotten by the cupbearer. Is this not the same frustration we face? We see Adonai at work and the pieces coming together, only to find that we are postponed, forgotten, or hindered. I have learned, however, that when Adonai’s timing and Adonai’s Word intersect, ‘suddenly’ happens. For Yosef, suddenly was coming.

Genesis 40:1-23

RUN, DON’T WALK

“But she kept pressing him, day after day. Nevertheless, he didn’t listen to her; he refused to sleep with her of even be with her.”
Genesis 39:10

Potifar and his wife took notice of Yosef. Yosef was a well built man. When Potifar’s wife confronted him and gave her offer of a one night fling, he refused (Gen 39:7-8). She, however, was resilient. Day after day she kept coming to Yosef with her offer, and day after day he kept saying no. The desire and lust for what she could not have continued to grow toward Yosef. But it was this lust that continued also to feed. In one of his fictional novels, Thom Lemmons gives a solid definition as to just what lust is and how it continues to feed on us in its ways of deception.

“Sometimes I think lust is the only sin. Lust for a woman will make a man betray his wife, his friend, maybe even his clan. Lust for land will make him lie and murder. Lust for indulgence will make a woman sow cankers in her husband’s soul. Lust for advancement and ease will make a man forget his god. There is a little god in each of our hearts that tells us we ought to have whatever it is we want. The voice of that god is very hard to ignore, even for the most righteous. It is hard to ignore because it is always telling us the thing we most want to hear.”

What Potifar’s wife most wanted to hear was “Yes”, but what she kept hearing from Yosef was “No”. Seeing she was constantly being denied, she tried another more forceful approach. With the house fully empty, she waited for Yosef. Catching him in her trap, and catching him by the cloak, she offered again, “Come to bed with me.” No matter how many times she approached Yosef, his answer was always the same. Leaving his cloak behind, he left her once again.
A leech makes a special type of saliva which allows them to drink quickly and painlessly. As they spread this saliva over the area where they will feast, they also spread an anesthetic which stops any pain. This anesthetic then keeps the host from feeling the bite. It is common for leeches to be connected to a person for hours before they are ever noticed or realized. But a second agent is also found in the saliva, one called anticoagulant. This agent prevents the blood from clotting, which in turn becomes like a flowing waterfall of blood for the leech to drink freely from. Once filled, the leech will drop off and be filled for months.
When I think of this portion of Yosef’s life where daily he was hounded by Potifar’s wife, I think of how she was in essence, a leech. She came to him with her saliva of anesthesia working to convince him that no one would ever know. She also came to him with her anticoagulant in the offering more and more and more, just like the waterfall of blood. But Yosef came with one item she was not expecting. He came with Adonai on His side. In one of her attempts Yosef replied to her advance saying, “How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against Adonai?” (Gen 39:9)
On this final advance made on Yosef by Potifar’s wife, Yosef stood his ground, said “No!,” and ran out. He didn’t care about his cloak, he only cared about getting out. When Potifar returned home, she lied to her husband and Yosef was placed in prison. But even with all that had happened already, from the bitterness of his brothers, to his being sold into slavery, to now being placed in prison for additional lies against him, Yosef saw Adonai’s hand.

Genesis 39:7-23

FAVOR

“So [Potifar] left all his possessions in Yosef’s care; and because he had him, he paid no attention to his affairs, except for the food he ate.”
Genesis 39:6a

In this short passage of six verses today we find something so profound. Well maybe not profound, but awesome. It is in this passage that we read that Yosef found favor in Potifar’s sight. My daughter and I have this one movie of the life of Yosef that we both love, with Ben Kinsley playing the role of Potifar. Whenever I read this portion of the scripture, I think of the part in the movie where Yosef offers some assistance to the guard who is unable to read. He explains the plans for the garden that Potifar is creating and in it, begins to win the favor of all those who so easily could ruin him. When the garden is complete, a small debate is had over whether Yosef is for sale because so many are pleased with him.
This is the favor I want. I want people to see me one who is capable, but more so as one who lives the work style of Colossians 3:23, doing everything as unto Adonai. Yosef had every reason to be upset, to pitch a fit, and to be uncooperative, but he chose to work as unto Adonai and in the end, was favored. Potifar placed Yosef in charge of his whole household because he knew the God of Israel was with him. The evidence was there. Oh that it would be there in me as well.

Genesis 39:1-6

YOUR SIN WILL FIND YOU OUT

“When [Tamar] was brought out, she sent this message to her father-in-law: ‘I am pregnant by the man to whom these things belong. Determine, I beg you, whose these are – the signet, the cords, and the staff.’”
Genesis 38:25

Y’hudah, (Judah), was the forth son of Ya’akov and born to him from Le’ah (Gen 29:35). The Torah explains to us that he had three sons, ‘Er, Onan, and Shelah. ‘Er married Tamar, but the two were unable to conceive prior to his death. His death, however, was brought about by Adonai because of his evil lifestyle. As was the custom, if no children were born, the second son would be wed to the first son’s wife. Soon enough, Onan became the husband of Tamar. Knowing that if he aided to her conceiving the child would still be considered ‘Er’s, he did not release himself in Tamar. This action angered Adonai and Adonai put him to death as well. Now with only one son left, Y’hudah feared his final son being killed and postponed giving him to her right away.
While out with his sheep-shearers in Timnah, Y’hudah saw a prostitute. He made an offer and she accepted. A moment of lust and passion would cost him only one kid from his many goats. However, since he didn’t have the goat on hand, a guarantee was made. Giving her his seal, cord, and staff, with the agreement to exchange it all for the goat later, the two engaged. The next day, when he went to pay her with the goat and take back his items, the prostitute was nowhere to be found. Not wanting to make too much of a scene, he let it pass. But little did he know if would come back around.
A few months after his trip to Timnah he received word that Tamar was pregnant. Knowing he had not given his last son to her, he assumed that she had been frolicking. She was questioned in great detail who this man was who had impregnated her, and her answer was stated clearly. “The owner of this signet, cords, and staff is the man I was with.” As Y’hudah looked over these items he immediately knew they were his. Although she had tricked him, she was also more righteous than he was as he had kept his son from her.
This story speaks many lessons. When I read it, however, I see one main point. My sins are not hidden. I understand Y’hudah’s fear and the waiting the keep his final son from death as he had that concern. I understand Tamar wanting to make a point. But I also see clearly how what Y’hudah thought he could dismiss was exposed. There is not one thing we can hide from Adonai. Funny how we continue to try over and over again.

Genesis 38:1-30

LET’S MAKE A FEW BUCKS

“Y’hudah said to his brothers, ‘What advantage is it to us if we kill out brother and cover up his blood? Come, let’s sell him to the Yishma’elim, instead of putting him to death with our own hands. After all, he is our brother, our own flesh.’ His brothers paid attention to him.”
Genesis 37:26-27

Bitterness never seemed to be left behind in this family, at least not by Yosef’s brothers. As they were out near Dothan grazing their flocks, they saw Yosef coming toward them. It didn’t matter to them why he was coming, they only knew they were tired of him and his dreams. Before too long a plan was conceived to throw him into the cisterns and convince their father that a wild animal had attacked Yosef on his journey to meet them. Ambushed by his own brothers, Yosef was stripped of his robe and shoved into the cistern. However, when a better offer came along to profit from Yosef, the brothers’ plan took a slight change. They still kept the part in the story to their father where an animal had attacked, but failed to relay to their father that their bitterness was that attacking animal. In the end, Yosef was sold by his brothers to a caravan of Yishma’elim (Ishmaelites) who in turn sold him to the Egyptian official, Potifar.
But like I said, it was their bitterness that was the animal. It was their bitterness toward his dreams, towards his tattling, and towards his robe that pushed them to this point. The way to get rid of their bitterness was coming down the path, though. In fact, they could not only get rid of Yosef, but they could make a few bucks too. Two good things for only one big lie. And yet, we do the same thing at times. Instead of getting to the root, we look for the easy way out. We cover our bitterness with addictions, with busyness, and with things of no value. If bitterness is not handled correctly, in the ways of Adonai and with His help, it will only fester until we too find ourselves selling something. It may not be our brother, but it may be something dear to us.
Let us be warned by the actions of the brothers. Let us not come to a point where bitterness is the animal that attacks. And let us not find ourselves in a place where later we regret the actions we have done.

Genesis 37:23-36

THIS DREAMER

“They said to each other, ‘Look, this dreamer is coming!’”
Genesis 37:19

Why is it so hard to trust God? Look at the Fathers of the Faith. Avraham believed Adonai would give him a nation and yet didn't have a child till he was 86 years old. And even then, this was not the chosen child. Yitz’chak wasn't even born for another 14 years. Avraham had faith that Adonai would keep His word. He learned to trust in Adonai.
Moshe also learned to trust in Adonai. In Exodus 3:10 Adonai tells Moshe that he has been chosen to deliver the Israelites out of Egypt and bring them to the land of milk and honey. Sure, Moshe made the excuses but still went on this wild ride with Adonai and had to trust in Him at every step. The promise was real, and the Promised Land was reached.
Between the two, however, was Yosef. So then, what about Yosef and his dreams? Adonai gave him dreams when he was still young and yet his family didn't even believe him. When he shared his dreams of grain bowing down, they called him crazy. Yet Yosef knew these dreams were from Adonai above. Thrown in prison for a crime he did not commit, he did not lose faith. He learned to trust in Adonai ever more. When the time was right, Adonai elevated him from a prison to a place of authority.
One thing we should remember from Yosef is this. Adonai will exalt you to the right place, but only when the time is right. We must be patient and obey. Yosef saw this firsthand. He didn't try to break out of jail, or try to squeeze into leadership. Adonai promoted within the jail, and later outside of jail. Adonai allowed Yosef to inherit the land. But the whole verse, the whole story, the whole lesson starts with a single word...WAIT. It is so hard to do, but the benefit is so rewarding. It is just like in pregnancy. A couple waits nine months for their child to be born, but the reward of that child is great.
So it with us then. Adonai has a reward for us, and we want it so badly, but is the time right? Are we being asked to wait? And if we are, are we kicking and screaming about the wait, or do we trust that the wait will be worth it all in the end? Only you can answer that. As for me, I have decided that I will learn to trust. The dreams are still vivid, but the timing is not right. Until then, I will be the dreamer, despite how my brothers react.

Genesis 37:12-22

THE ROBE

“Now Isra’el loved Yosef the most of all his children, because he was the son of his old age; and he made him a long-sleeved robe.”
Genesis 37:3

The story of Yosef and his robe of many colors is known by many. Yosef was born of Ya’akov’s original love, Rachel, and therefore he was favored. This favoritism did not sit right with his brothers, however. They sensed the strong feelings Ya’akov had and it angered them. Of course things were only added to when Yosef began sharing his dreams with his brothers. For today, however, I want us to just consider a few key elements from today’s Parashah portion.
First I bring your attention to Genesis 37:10. It is in this passage, after Yosef has shared his second dream with his family, that Yosef hears the words of mockery from his father. His father states, “Do you really expect me, your mother and your brothers to come and prostrate ourselves before you on the ground?” It is suggested that not all pieces of Yosef’s life were written in chronological order. I bring this idea up because in reading this we see the word mother as opposed to mothers. I also bring this piece to our attention because based on Genesis 37:3, where we see the term ‘old age’, it can be assumed that Binyamin was not yet born. Quite possibly, Rachel may have still been alive when Yosef began to share his dreams.
But now, let us go back to the factors of the robe. By the text we can assume it must have been as beautiful as it was colorful. We also know it was the reason for additional envy from his brothers. But in studying this passage, I want to suggest an additional reason as to why it caused such troubles. As is the custom in European families, each family name has its own shield or coat of arms. So it was with each of the tribes, that an emblem defined them. Still, it is thought that each tribe also had its own color. What if the robe of many colors had the color of each of the brothers? It is easy to see how this could add to the brothers’ anger.
As we continue to move forward in the coming days looking at the life of Yosef, I believe that we will find ourselves in the story. With new eyes and an open mind, let us learn.

Genesis 37:1-11

GENEALOGY

“This is the genealogy of Esav (that is Edom).”
Genesis 36:1

I must admit that when I first read this final portion of the Parashah, Vayishlach, I thought to myself, it is just a list of names. It is when I read this portion with the help of a few aids, though, that I found deeper things. Allow me to share with you a little behind the scenes action concerning this portion.
In Esav’s attempt to make a family line that would receive blessing, failure was found. The lasting dynasty that was dreamed of came to an end because of sin. Incest is said to have been a normal issue on Esav’s side as we even see that Tziv’on was not only the father of Anah (Gen 36:24), but also the brother of Anah (Gen 36:20). It is also stated in history that it was Tziv’on who crossbred the horse and donkey, creating a mule, which Adonai considered an illegitimate creature.
Perhaps the greatest known name in this line is the name Amalek (Gen 36:12). It would be the tribe of Amalek, the Amalekites, who showed no fear toward Adonai. In Exodus 17, it was this tribe that even came against Isra’el but was defeated as Moshe held up his hands. In the end, Adonai declared that the memory of Amalek would be blotted out (Ex 17:14).
Let us not be like the line of Esav. Although it was Ya’akov who was born the deceiver, it was Esav in the end whose family line strayed away from Adonai. May it never be said of us that our sin also paved the way for the destruction and blotted memory of so many.

Genesis 36:20-43

FROM GRIEF TO THE RIGHT HAND

“But [Rachel] died in childbirth. As she was dying she named her son Ben-Oni [son of my grief], but his father called him Binyamin [son of the right hand, son of the south].”
Genesis 35:18

When both my children were born, a decision was made to not know the gender. Although this decision taxed me many times, as I am one who likes to plan way in advance, I had no choice but to go through with it. Sure, I attempted to take the doctor aside and bribe her, but because of my wife’s decision, the doctor stood firm. The not knowing, however, allowed us the opportunity to consider names and colors for the baby room, despite what the gender would be. And planning paint along with deciding names filled our time. We tried on an array of ideas, but in the end I only was able to get my votes in as middle names. Still, in all our ideas, we never considered giving our child a name like Ben-Oni.
Granted I do understand that Rachel would pass as she gave birth, and that the naming of children held within them a profession of who they would become, it is because it would be a profession that I find myself questioning why such a name would be given. Who would want their child to be a constant reminder of pain and grief, or to only know these traits in all that he did? It is because of this, then, that Ya’akov spoke up and canceled Rachel’s naming choice. Instead of his final son taking on a name of grief, Ya’akov rewarded his son with the name Binyamin, the son of my right hand.
To be named as the son of the right hand holds within it a stature. Being associated with the right hand or right side was traditionally a reference to strength and virtue. However, the name Binyamin also translates as son of the south, and could in fact reference the location of where he was born, as Kena’an (Canaan) was located south in their travels. I do not have the footing to argue and dispute rabbinical sources, but I believe that both descriptions fit. The location of Kena’an cannot be disputed, but nor can the truths we read in scripture just soon after, where Binyamin is cherished and protected following the supposed death of Yosef. It is in his name, though, that I find a question. Ya’akov cherished Binyamin. Do I cherish my children the same way? Do I look at them as an illustration of strength and virtue? And, am I calling this strength and virtue out of them as Ya’akov did?

Genesis 35:14 – 36:19

WHAT STINKS?

“But Ya’akov said to Shim’on and Levi, ‘You have caused me trouble by making me stink in the opinion of the local inhabitants, the Kena’ani and the P’rizi. Since I don’t have many people, they’ll align themselves together against me and attack me; and I will be destroyed, I and my household.’”
Genesis 34:30

A few days back I was listening to a minister named Perry Stone, speak on enemies within our own home. Now while I have no intention of repeating his message, it was his teaching that opened my eyes to this passage where Ya’akov says to his sons, “You have made me stink.” Perhaps we should recap the account from the Torah in order for this to make better sense.
Upon settling at Sh’khem, the son of Hamor the Hivi began to take an interest in Dinah, the only named daughter of Ya’akov. In a moment of lust and heat, Sh’khem, the son, grabbed Dinah and raped her. Following this action he sought by any means possible the ability to marry her. Neither of these actions seemed to sit well with her brothers. They wanted revenge for Dinah. With Hamor stating that intermarriage between the nations would be a good idea, the sons of Ya’akov spoke stating the offer would only be agreed to if all the men were circumcised as they were. After debate, the city agreed.
The Torah records that on the third day following, while the men were still in pain, an attack was made. Notice with me who led the attack on the city. I have read this passage before but in reading it again I found something. The Torah records only Shim’on (Simeon) and Levi. If we go back to these men’s birth we find they were both from Le’ah, as was Dinah. It was Dinah’s true brothers, not half brothers, that took her revenge. But moving on, the two men attacked the men of Sh’khem. To this Ya’akov stated he had become a stink.
This word ‘stink’ is the Hebrew word BA’ASH. Quite frankly, it means to have a bad smell, to become odious, or to emit a wicked odor. Because of the actions of these two sons, Ya’akov how was a BA’ASH. In fear he looked at the size of his tribe and thought them small enough to be wiped out. In much the same way as I work to remove the smells in my house, Ya’akov figured his name would be removed. It was to this concern that Adonai told him to take his family and move. And it was because of the actions of these two men that their blessing, given to them on Ya’akov’s death bed, would not be to their favor. “Cursed be their anger, for it has been fierce; their fury, for it has been cruel. I will divide them in Ya’akov and scatter them in Isra’el” (Gen 49:7).
The point I long to make today is simple. As seen in this account, our actions do not only affect us. Although in reading this passage my anger and revenge rises up like it did in these men, and I long to see justice done, I fear I too would have made a stink. The things I do bear on me, as Shim’on and Levi learned, but they also hurt others. My sin will hurt me. My sin will cause a curse on me. For example, when I was in my years of pornography I was making myself stink. My actions, however, didn’t only hurt me but my wife at the time also. Now I see this truth in place. I question, how many others will my sin hurt and stink up also? Oh Adonai, I do not want to stink or to be the cause of another person stinking.

Genesis 34:1 – 35:13

EL-ELOHEI-YISRA’EL

“From the sons of Hamor Sh’khem’s father he bought for one hundred pieces of silver the parcel of land where he had pitched his tent. There he put up an altar, which he called El-Elohei-Yisra’el [God, the God of Isra’el].
Genesis 33:19-20

The two brothers had met and Ya’akov had lived to tell the story. Amidst all his fear concerning what Esav may do or attempt to do, Esav did no ill. In fact, Esav ran to meet his brother. Ya’akov had hoped to win his brother’s favor by an onslaught of gifts, but after meeting the entire family of his brother, Esav advised he had enough of his own livestock and servants. Still Ya’akov insisted until finally Esav agreed.
As the meeting lingered, Esav felt the move to continue with his brother on to Se’ir. However, after an already long trip, a night spent wrestling, and perhaps the emotional and physical toils of the stress of meeting his brother now being relaxed, Ya’akov and his caravan needed a rest. Watching Esav in the distance headed for Se’ir, Ya’akov headed toward Sukkot. It was here that he pitched tents and made shelters for his animals. It is here that we see the first use of Sukkot, which is where we derive the background for what we now know is wrapped up in one of the High Holy days.
Still moving forward, Ya’akov landed at Padan-Aram before finally settling within sight of Sh’khem. It was at Sh’khem that Ya’akov put up an altar and named it El-Elohei-Yisra’el. The translation of this is God, the God of Isra’el or mighty is the God of Isra’el. In questioning as to why he may have named it this, I reconsidered what all he had been through. Maybe the obvious is his recent name change. Just a few nights back he had wrestled and been renamed Isra’el. But this man had also truly seen Adonai’s might. He had been protected by Adonai’s hand from his angry brother. He had been blessed by Adonai’s hand in the brown, spotted, and speckled livestock he possessed. And he had been kept in Adonai’s hand despite the trickery that once defined him. Ya’akov had lived to know Adonai’s might, and for that Adonai was the God of Ya’akov.

Genesis 33:6-20

HUMBLE MEETING

“Ya’akov raised his eyes and looked out; and there was Esav coming, and four hundred men with him. So Ya’akov divided the children between Le’ah, Rachel and the two slave girls.”
Genesis 33:1

The day had finally come when the two camps would reunite. Ya’akov was moments from seeing his brother again after about twenty years. But the deceitful man that Esav may have remembered was no more. Adonai had worked in Ya’akov to change him. In some places the change had had time to set in, but in others the change was recent. In fact, it was only hours before while in the night that Ya’akov wrestled with the man. In an effort to break free, the man touched Ya’akov’s hip socket, dislocating the hip. Moving forward, Ya’akov stepped with a limp.
Still it wasn’t only the hip displacement that the man gave Ya’akov, but it was also a new name. From this time forward, Ya’akov was to be known as Isra’el. I have read this name change explained as such. Ya’akov was no longer to be known as a deceiver or as one who obtained his possessions through trickery. Instead, he was to be known as one who had been publically authorized to receive the blessing. Think about that for a moment. In the context of Ya’akov, his whole life was built on pulling one over on people. But now, after wrestling with the man, he was being told that he fairly won this one; he won the ability to be blessed. He even had the battle scar to prove an honest fight.
It is in this humility and change of character that Ya’akov marched out to meet his brother Esav and prostrated himself on the ground seven times before approaching his brother. It is in this humility that I want to be found as well. I am not saying this because I want the blessings only, but because pride will be our downfall. I do not want my gain to come through trickery, but through Adonai declaring that I have been authorized to receive the blessing.

Genesis 32:31 – 33:5

CROSS OVER

"He [Ya’akov] got up that night, took his two wives, his two slave-girls, and his eleven children, and forded the Yabok.”
Genesis 32:22

The river Yabok (Jabbok) is only mentioned 7 times in the complete Bible. So then you may question why this reference is so important for me to bring it up? I have every intention of sharing that with you in just a bit. But first, let us look at the next piece in the account of Ya’akov and Esav reuniting. Fearful of any remaining anger that Esav may have, Ya’akov had planned to divide his possessions into two camps. In an extra means to keep peace, Ya’akov sent gifts ahead of him with his servants commanded to announce, “Ya’akov, your servant, is coming behind us.” Any means of appeasement was desired. Before nightfall came, Ya’akov managed to move everything across the Yabok and stay in the camp. It was this night that would change his life as he found himself wrestling with Adonai.
So again you may be wondering, why is this reference to the Yabok any different? The answer is this. In all the other 6 times that the Yabok is mentioned it states that the person only came up to it. Here, we read of the first time anyone crossed it. In crossing over the Yabok, Ya’akov left behind his past. For an estimated twenty years he had worked for someone else. Not a slave, but a hired hand, he had helped to fulfill the destiny of someone else. But now, he was walking into the destiny that Adonai had called him to.
I say all this because within this one verse is the next step for us. It is time for us to cross over into what Adonai is doing. We may have come close many times, but have turned back in fear, pressure, or other obstacles. But this time let us not shrink back but cross over. The land we leave behind is only holding us down. The land that lies ahead is the Promised Land that Adonai has for us. Let us not lose the passion, not listen to the enemy about how worthless he thinks we are, and not consider ourselves done. It is time to cross over.
I encourage you to stop coming up to the Yabok only to turn in fear. Stop thinking yourself worthless, that you have nothing to offer, that the world would benefit from your absence. Trust Adonai with the next step of where He is directing you. It is high time we cross the Yabok and live.

Genesis 32:14-30

PREPARING TO MEET ESAV

“The messengers returned to Ya’akov saying, ‘We went to your brother Esav, and he is coming to meet you; with him are four hundred men.’”
Genesis 32:7

As Ya’akov prepared to meet his brother, Esav, once again, fear crept over him. It was at their last engagement that Esav had been tricked out of his firstborn privileges as Ya’akov posed as his brother in order to receive the blessing. In fear of his brother saying he would have revenge, Ya’akov had fled. Now unsure if the years had been long enough to overcome the anger, Ya’akov proceeded with caution.
Sending out his messengers toward the land of Se’ir, the country of Edom, Ya’akov gave directions to his men of what to say so that favor may be gained. His men however, returned a different message than what Ya’akov had desired to hear. They replied, “We went to your brother Esav, and he is coming to meet you; with him are four hundred men.” Right away panic overcame Ya’akov. He divided all his possessions into two camps, thinking that if one was attacked the other would be safe. Then, maybe in an effort to calm himself down, Ya’akov prayed. In his prayer he reminded Adonai of the promise made to his grandfather, Avraham, that carried on through his father, Yitz’chak, that now rested on him. Adonai had promised through him a great nation. So he pleaded with Adonai for a rescue.
It is here that I am challenged in my own way of life. I, like Ya’akov, have been told by Adonai of some of the blessings that He has for me. I, like Ya’akov, have worked to remind Adonai of these blessings when they seemed to not be working out. And I, like Ya’akov, have allowed panic before prayer. So then, here is the question. Why do we not make prayer first priority? Why do we allow ourselves to go through the panic and worry and make our own plans instead of running straight to Adonai? We treat Him as a backup plan when instead we should see Him as the first response.
Maybe today we should work to change this. Maybe today when we see our bleak situation, instead of allowing panic to run over us we can decide to go to Adonai first. This thought seems to fit with not only this situation but all situations. Matthew 6:33 reminds us to seek Adonai first. In making Him first we leave no room for panic and worry to reside.

Genesis 32:4-13

THE FEARED ONE

“But Ya’akov swore by the One his father Yitz’chak feared.”
Genesis 31:53b

It was after Lavan had searched the tents that he approached Ya’akov desiring to make a covenant. Taking stones and making a pile, Ya’akov and Lavan built their altar and named it “pile of witness”. With the prayer that Adonai would watch between the two while they were apart, the covenant was sealed. But the part of this section of the parashah that catches my attention comes in Genesis 31:53. It is here we read that Ya’akov swore to the One his father feared. It was here that Ya’akov swore to Adonai.
In Proverbs 1:7 we read that, “The fear of Adonai is the beginning of knowledge…” This fear that Proverbs tells us of, and the fear that Ya’akov and his father shared, was not a fear as in being scared, but of reverence. It is a reverence for Adonai that brings the beginning of knowledge. Do we possess this? Do we have a holy fear for Adonai; a fear for Him by which we swear? I am challenged in thinking about this. I am forced to think in regards to who I reverence. If I am not fearing Adonai then I have missed not only knowledge, but all that He offers.

Genesis 31:43 – 32:3

THE SEARCH

“’But if you find your gods with someone, that person will not remain alive. So with our kinsmen to witness, if you spot anything that I have which belongs to you, take it back.’ Ya’akov did not know that Rachel had stolen them.”
Genesis 31:32

When I read this section of scripture I always get stuck on the same two things. The first issue resolves around the fact that there were gods in Lavan’s house. Maybe the hang up isn’t really that there were gods, as Lavan probably did not have the same standards as Ya’akov. Maybe the hang up comes in the fact that Rachel stole them from her father. I question what she was planning to do with them. Did she take them in spite? Did she plan to worship them later on? Was she still cleaving to the ways of her past as opposed to the ways of her husband? We are never told the details as to why she stole them, just that she did and that she hid them in the saddle of her camel. Regardless of all the pieces I do not read and wonder I find the following truth. We cannot bring the gods of our past with us. Adonai is a jealous God and wants no competition, but the bringing of the gods of our past needs to be exposed.
This then brings me to my second point in this passage. Lavan began a search. Lavan, although looking for his gods, began to search the tents and expose the thief of his property. May I suggest here again that we need to go through the tents and expose the gods that we have brought with us? Our sinful ways can easily become our gods. The things that we elevate above Adonai need to be exposed, leaving nothing out ranking Him. So the challenge is do the exposure we know is needed? Will you go through your tents and remove the things that should not be there?

Genesis 31:17-42

SPECKLED, SPOTTED, AND BROWN

“’And I will let my integrity stand as witness against me in the future: when you come to look over the animals constituting my wages, every goat that isn’t speckled or spotted and every sheep that isn’t brown will count as stolen be me.’”
Genesis 30:33

It was in college when I first heard the definition of integrity. Well, I had heard Webster’s version of it growing up, but this was the first time I had heard a definition closer to Adonai’s. While sitting on the tile floor during hall meeting, my chaplain called out that integrity is who we are when no one is looking. As a freshman only weeks into college, I was already beginning to take on my own personality and new lifestyle. When these words were said, they brought balance. Suddenly I realized that just because I was now able to do things that my parents would not approve of did not mean I should. I was still being watched and held to a level of integrity. Eighteen years have passed since I first heard those words, and yet they still play over and over in my mind. All the little things I think and want to hide, whether they be from my kids or from others, someone still knows about. Every little thought, every little action, every little place I go when I am alone is not hidden from Adonai no matter how well I try to hide it from others.
As I opened to Genesis 30 to begin reading today, I was reminded once more of this fact. It is in this chapter that Ya’akov and Lavan strike another agreement. With Ya’akov anxious to move out and begin a life apart from Lavan, he gives his request for them to split ways. But Lavan knows that the only reason he has prospered so far is because of his son-in-law. The two agree then that Lavan will keep each pure sheep and goat while Ya’akov will take any sheep or goat spotted, speckled, or colored. The proof then is in the pudding, or wool I guess. There is no way that Ya’akov can get away with stealing now because the shading and pattern will give him away. And Lavan also cannot pull a fast one because his sheep and goat will tell on him also. The simplicity of their agreement kept both men living in integrity.
Honestly, sometimes I wish it was still this easy. While I know that many people, including myself, would be exposed if we lived with our integrity in the shading and spotting of a sheep or goat, I would still like it. For far too long I lived one way in private and another way in public. And even still I find myself battling between the two, leaving my integrity playing the part of a fake. Who am I when the door is closed and no one is looking? Be not deceived, though, for Adonai warns us that our sins will find us out. Just because I can hide something from you doesn’t mean that I can hide it also from Him. But then I am not sure I want to hide it from Him. Why would I want to continue living a life of false and deception when I could more easily live a life in Adonai’s boundaries and blessings?
As crazy as it sounds, I know that if I had to live with my sheep and my goats as my means of integrity, I would be living a better life. I would be able to get away with nothing, be fully exposed, and be forced to either live right or pay the consequence. So as bold as it may sound, this is my prayer.
Adonai, I want to be a man of full integrity. I give you permission to go through my sheep and goat pen and look for the ones that do not belong there and remove them. It is in Your love that You discipline Your children. I want to be right when You look at me, both when the door is open and when it is closed. Amen.

Genesis 30:28 – 31:16