LENGTHY DELAYS

“I myself will guarantee his safety; you can hold me responsible. If I fail to bring him to you and present him to your face, let me bear the blame forever. Except for our lengthy delay, we would have been there again by now.”
Genesis 43:9-10

It was while reading this passage of the Torah today that I saw myself. More specifically, it was in comparing myself to Ya’akov that I saw myself. In this portion of the Parashah, the brothers are in Egypt seeking relief from the famine by purchasing grain. Yosef, who is hiding his true identity from them, has already questioned the brothers about his father and youngest brother, Binyamin. Calling the others out as spies, he has now given them the task of keeping one brother behind while they go to fetch Binyamin. This alone will prove their denial as spies, but will also allow Yosef a look into their hearts. With this said, Shim’on is taken, unwillingly, as the brother left behind.
When the remaining nine return to their father, they explain why Shim’on is not with them. Automatically Ya’akov is unwilling. There is no way that he will allow Binyamin to go, not with Yosef already gone and Shim’on in prison. But as the grain runs out, Ya’akov is placed between a rock and a hard spot. To obtain grain he must do as Egypt’s official has spoken. But the fear of losing another son weighs on the other end. Even at Re’uven’s barter to take his sons instead, Ya’akov is timid to agree (Gen 42:37-38).
Now depleted of grain, Ya’akov must make his decision. It is Y’hudah who pleads with his father again to place the boy in his care, allowing any and all blame to fall on him. And it is in this passage I see myself. Y’hudah says to his father that if he wasn’t so stubborn, they could have already gone to Egypt and back instead of knowing the pain of hunger. This piece makes me contemplate the times I too have been stubborn. I think there are times when we are supposed to take our stand, dig our feet in and resist the enemy. This is Biblical. But there are also times when we do this action for the wrong reason. Ya’akov did it out of fear. He knew that his family was hungry, but he also feared that Binyamin, the last piece he had still from Rachel, could find the same fate as Yosef or Shim’on.
Have you too found yourself there? It is like you know the answer, but are afraid to step out in the faith that Adonai has it in his control. Ya’akov finally did agree with Y’hudah, but he also left it in Adonai’s hands, saying, “May El Shaddai give you favor in the man’s sight, so that he will release to you your other brother as well as Binyamin” (Gen 43:14). Perhaps we should pray the same prayer. Oh El Shaddai, may you give us favor in the sight of others, regardless of how hard is it to walk out this next step, yet knowing your hand is at work in our obedience to where you are leading. Amen.

Genesis 42:19 – 43:15